conflictingconscience

2006-12-13T18:55:00.000-08:00

just got back frm KL. no word can sum up the things we did throughout the entire four days. there were the ups & downs, though initially i regretted going, but then again, the friends made up for it (: <3

2006-12-05T05:12:00.000-08:00

okay since A wrote a post about me, i'm gonna do one about this little darling of mine. yes, (even though her post about me wasn't really revolving around me) we got around to talking & i found out that i missed her so goddamned much. you hear that hunneh? (: yes yes i do. we must go out. i promise we will. so anyways, i've known A like forever now (it counts as forever okay?).

she's my bitch, i love bitching with her. we've got sooooo much to bitch about. & not only that! she gives me sound advice , not to mention good cheer-up music as well. we talk of our problems & now my only regret was why i didn't take this huge step ages ago. WHY?. lmao.

so i wrote about you ;)

now shhhh

***

to other matters at hand, the band will be going off this friday, no where fancy, just KL (across the causeway). i'm not excited or anything. just anxious. somehow, one way or another, someone will go on a huge ego trip & mess up the whole thing (hopefully it's not me. heh.) the other thing is, i've watched a M'sian band perform live before, yes i have. they came down to singapore last year & all i can say is that they're waaaay better than CSS & they don't have really good instruments. they're so ~~poor~~ that they can't even book into a hotel & have to camp in a school. but that doesn't stop their zeal for music.

okay, why am i promoting bands? i should just ~~stop~~.

2006-11-30T07:02:00.000-08:00

i wish i didn't have to depend on ~~friends~~ for company.
i wish i didn't have to depend on ~~him~~ to feel secure.
i wish i didn't have to be so mean to my mom.
i wish i didn't have such anti-human feelings.
i wish PMS didn't exist.
i wish i had more green.
i wish my self-esteem isn't so low.
i wish i can trust them.
i wish she can be there for me forever.
i wish i have never met it.
i wish the lows of life didn't congregate together to become one big awful mess.
i wish boys aren't such goddamn jerks.

i have so much to wish for, but i only have ~~three wishes~~. what will they be?

2006-11-20T04:34:00.000-08:00

i felt the need for a change of link, so i did. could have never stayed there for long, always kept moving on.

so, finally the exams are over. scraped through, though am rather glad that everything's over & done with.

***

how funny that whenever i sit here, in front of the computer screen, with my fingers poised to type, i can never seem to think of anything vaguely appropriate for the public to read. sure, it's a blog; the abode for poor teenybopper souls who would flaunt, rant, cry or merely shoot trash out of their sorry mouths just to show the world what they've been doing, etc, but i find that redundant most of the time.

i don't really feel the need to write about these banal interludes in life.

so tell me again why i'm having an online journal when i can't pen my thoughts freely (there's no such thing as 'free speech' in singapore) & that i'd rather stick needles into my eyes than spout frivolous details of my ordinary life on the world wide web?

2006-10-08T23:39:00.000-07:00

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